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How to deal with Gossiping

“People with extraordinary minds, talk about ideas. People with average minds, talk about events. People with simple minds, talk about other people.” – Anonymous

Gossiping has become such an imperative activity in our daily lives that it is difficult to survive without experiencing it. We often gossip about our “achievements”, about our peers, about film stars and others whom we love to hate. Gossip can be defined as doctored information that involves maligning someone’s reputation. And the outcome of excessive gossiping will result in what we call rumors. Researchers say gossiping is good for health, so supporters have a valid point. They (supporters) also put forth opinions of psychologists who uphold the belief that emotions should flow freely, whether it is LOVE or animosity, without bottling up one’s feelings. So these arguments try to show a rosy picture whose authentication, in reality, is severely doubted.

Reasons why people gossip:

  • Ignorance
  • Creating Sensationalism
  • Jealousy
  • Inferiority complex
  • Disappointment over something/covering one’s own short comings
  • As a time killing technique

Since the reasons are numerous and beyond the realm of any conscious mind, let us confine our thoughts to above mentioned “broad” categories.

 It is the ignorance that makes people to gossip. Most people, who are ignored by others, try to put themselves in lime-light by sensationalizing any trivial matter. The issues these people raise will do no good to others, the solution lies in the cyclic process of ignoring their words. Self judgment should play a main role in dealing with these kinds of people.

 It is un common to hear that gossiping often occurs out of jealousy. People love to hate those who are hard working, dedicated, successful, and are happy in doing one’s job. In order to show their prominence over the above listed people, the accusers retort to the old trick called gossiping. Hear no word from them but accept that they are what they are. People, sometimes, do gossip to change the direction of conversation that is aiming towards any of their failures.

 The last one in the list, gossiping as a time killing technique, is less malicious but having said that it is not to be taken lightly. Even though the intention is different, this method will put gossip mongers and their victims in a more dangerous situation as these kinds of people will always gossip for the sake of gossiping. These people start gossiping as soon as they wake up in the morning and continue it in every walk of life till they sleep at night. Their taste buds will only be satisfied through gossiping.

 The irony is we, often, do gossip with or without being aware of it. So how do we grapple with it? It is through self consciousness and having a cool head that settles the matter. So next time, when you hear any one gossiping or you start saying anything about others, just think why these kinds of thoughts are coming to some one else or to you. If you find the motivation behind these sayings, you are more likely to deal it in an effective way because we are the best judges of our thoughts and observations. The point is, you have to decide whether you want to be one among them (gossip mongers) or one apart from them.